Fat Girl vs. Yoga Goddess

Today... I did yoga!

I'm 3 months into triathlon training. In the last 3 weeks, I've added in HIIT training, twice daily workouts and ab work.  NOTE:  "Ab work," (for the time being) consists of approximately 30 repetitions of an ab exercise, a 30-second break to bitch about how much it hurts, feel a bit nauseous and then probably get a charlie horse in my abs.  Repeat.

Going from couch potato to super active means that everyday something hurts. EVERY day.  My ass is sore from the cycling. My shoulders ache from push-ups. And my thighs.  My thighs are in an almost constant state of soreness.  They suffer a near constant assault including 11 incline on the treadmill, intervals, squats, cycling, HIIT classes, etc.

So, with a very sore body, today, I walked into yoga class.

Like most yoga classes, there was row after row of tall, thin goddess-like women, all wearing perfect Lululemon yoga outfits. They have lean taut bodies and perfect pony tails. No one sweats. No one grunts. No one falls out of tree pose. For some reason, they're almost ALWAYS brunette. They make yoga look easy, effortless. I call these women Yoga Goddesses.  (see below)

I am NOT a yoga goddess. About 8 years ago, I did ashtanga yoga 4x a week. I was lean, strong, and felt great, but I was STILL NOT a Yoga Goddess. I would still sweat and grunt and fall over. I'm missing the Yoga Goddess gene. But I don't care.

Today, I rolled out my mat right next to those goddesses and smiled big. Some of them studied me silently, assessing my arms, round butt, thick thighs and belly. They wondered if I was in the right place. They wonder if I can do it. I smile and breathe and class begins.

As we go through the postures, I stretch my sore muscles and breathe deep. Before long, sweat rolls down my face and I take pride in every drip. It's hard work but I'm doing it. My thighs are the biggest in the room, but they are strong and they have always moved my body however I demand. As I twist into various postures, I feel my stomach fat roll over my pants but I don't reach to adjust my shirt.


In downward dog, I marvel at how high my hips are in the air, not at how wide my hips are. In this position, (despite my sports bra) my boobs fall down towards my chin and threaten to suffocate me, but I don't relent.

I breathe and stretch and a calm comes over me.   Among all these Yoga Goddess....I am the lone fat girl doing yoga.  It occurs to me that maybe somewhere, there is a fat girl sitting on a couch, too scared to take the first step. And maybe to her, I am the goddess.

I smile, stretch a little further and catch a glimpse of a perfect blonde pony tail in the mirror. It takes me a few moments to realize that it's mine.

Pride

The best part of training for a tri is that everyday, I do something that makes me feel proud of myself.  Starting as a beginner on all three sports means that there are almost limitless opportunities to improve.

I've been swimming for 2 months. I've gone from barely being able to swim 400 M to swimming my first mile (1600M) last weekend.  When I first started swimming, I'd stop every 25M and spend a minute gasping for air.  Now, I swim 50 or 100M, take a quick 10-15 second breather, and continue.
It's amazing to see the progress I've made so far, and I've got 8 months until my race. I'm sure it'll be incredible to look back at theses posts once I'm "race day ready" and able to swim 800M continuously, bike 19 miles and run 3.2 miles.


I've made a TON of progress this week in all three sports. 

Last weekend, after swimming my first mile, I also went on a 5 mile bike ride. It started pouring rain, so the second half of my ride was very soggy, but I didn't stop!  I charged up two hills with burning thigh muscles and soggy sneakers.  For a lot of people, a 5 mile bike ride is no big deal.  But just two weeks ago, I was terrified of riding a bike and hadnt ridden in 8 years.  A 5 mile ride was a major accomplishment! I looked like a drowned rat, but I was grinning from ear to ear by the time I was done. I was proud of myself!

I also went for a 4.2 mile walk on the Beltline (finally paved)- the longest walk I've done so far. 

I'm progressing and getting stronger day by day. In the end, that's all that matters. I'm starting to feel like an athlete. And that feels amazing.

My new wheels...

ERMERGERD, blogosphere!  I got a lot of feedback from my last blog about being afraid of the bike.  A few of you mentioned I should use a hybrid bike for my first tri (or even first few!) and I've decided that's exactly what I'm going to do! 

Yesterday, I decided to check out my local bike shop, Outback Bikes in L5P. I made fast friends with Jesse and told him about my plans to do my first tri this spring. I told him my fears (wiping out, death) and about the herniated disc in my lower back. He pulled down two hybrid bikes and said "these are what you want." With their upright design, he assured me they would reduce the pressure on my lower back and give me a more comfortable ride.

After a test ride and some little adjustments, I walked out with my brand new hybrid bike!

Isn't she a beauty?
















I feel like I should name her or something.(Or is that only for boats?)


I took it out on a short inaugural ride yesterday afternoon.  I haven't ridden a bike in almost 8 years and forgot how hard it can be.  Cycling is no joke. My thighs were burning on my first hill and it defintely raised my heartrate!

I rode a leisurely 1.5 Miles in 11 minutes. My top speed of 12.4 MPH felt like flying!  I realize that I have a long way to ride 19 miles non-stop. But I will get there... one step at a time.

As for yesterday, the sun was shining, the breeze was gentle, and Tom Petty was playing on my iPhone. And for about a minute, I found myself relaxed, smiling and enjoying the ride... just like my brother said I might.

Afraid of the Bike

Lance Armstrong said - "It's Not About the Bike" but for me... it's actually ALL about the bike. I'm just going to say it. I'm scared of the bike. Whew.  There it is - the ugly truth, in black and white. I am training for a triathlon and I'm afraid of the bike.

Let me be precise...  I'm not afraid of the bike itself.  I'm afraid of falling OFF of the bike. I'm afraid of injury. I'm afraid of a horrible wreck where I fly off my bike and break a bone, crack my head open, smash my face up, or end up with road rash on half my body. Why do I worry about this? Because I'm anxiety prone... and becaue of the tires and pedals.

Unlike the nice, big tires I have on my mountain bike, triathletes use road bikes that have tiny little racing tires on them.

The mountain bike tire is big, thick, and has those little grippy nubs all over it.  It grabs the road and can ride over rocks, sticks and debris without any problem. The road bike tire, on the other hand, is smooth and super skinny!  A pebble, a puddle, a dog, a squirrel, it seems like anything is a threat to a racing tire.

Next are the pedals. Until a few years ago, I didn't know that cyclists clip their shoes into their pedals, locking them in place. This allows them to not only push down on the pedal but pull up on the other half of each revolution. Clip-in pedals, however, require lots of practice.  You have to twist your foot to unlock your foot from the pedal and any cyclist will tell you, when you're learning, you're going to take a few spills. If you can't clip out fast enough, you'll just fall over. Sounds lovely.

This is my first triathlon. My goals are VERY simple:
1. Don't die.
2. Finish the race.

I feel like the bike directly attacks my first goal.

So, for now, I'm ignoring the bike completely!  I'm going to keep swimming 2-3 few mornings per week (6 am!) and add in walking/jogging as well.

In the fall, I'll add in the stationary bikes at the gym - the ones securely bolted to the floor.



Did you get over a fear of the bike?  If so... tell me how in the comments!

Humble Beginnings

Every story has a beginning. This is mine.  I was 32, and more or less, a couch potato. I've always carried an extra 30-40 pounds but it didn't bother me (much). Sure, I would secretly day dream about wearing a bikini, but I wasnt unhappy. Then, in 2010, I gained almost 50 pounds in under a year. Suddenly, I was closer to 100 pounds overweight, tired and completely miserable. 

Determined to slim down, early in 2011, I joined Weight Watchers and started exercising. Month after month, I was devastated to see that I wasn't losing any weight... in fact, I was still gaining! After seeing a dozen doctors, I was finally diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, an autoimmune disease that makes weight loss very difficult. I was started on thyroid medication and over the next 12 months, I only lost 12 pounds.

Frustrated, in June of 2012, I fired my endocrinologist and got a new doctor. She increased my medication and FINALLY, I'm losing weight!   I've lost 19 pounds and I'm feeling better than ever. But, I need to lose a lot more to get into that bikini I've been dreaming of.    

So, last month, when my friend Amanda mentioned training for a triathlon, I said YES without hesitating. I believe the training will help me shed the weight and give me a concrete goal.

I have 9 months.  What have I gotten myself into...?