A year ago, I lost my job. Don't call my shrink - I'm not sitting here, rocking, counting the days, muttering to myself. Its just... I lost my job just 6 months after moving to Chicago FOR the job. I took over two teams, managing 6 people. I worked hard and truly loved it. I loved the people, loved the work, and, not to brag, but I was crushin' it. And then it was gone.
These things happen, just not (historically) to me. Prior to losing my job, my career was always a massive part of my life, my identity, maybe even my joy. It's sort of sad to write that, but it's true. I was raised by a single mom, hardworking, who put herself through undergraduate AND graduate school (thankyouverymuch!) and took care of me and my sister alone. (She went on to have a great career, marry my stepdad, retire early and travel the world! She's a goddess.)
I grew up, like most children of the 80s, in a household where money was tight. Little sidebar...I asked for Transformers for my 8th birthday (I was a tomboy, obvs). And instead, I got GoBots. You read that right. GoBots. If you don't remember GoBots, let me just say that they sucked...hard.
Transformers were awesome. Optimus Prime had about a gazillion moves to transform from a semi-truck into a bad-ass robot. It blew my tiny mind.
Photo: Transformers Wiki
But transformers were too expensive. So my mom, not knowing the difference, got me a GoBot spaceship instead. It had ONE MOVE. It didn't even transform, you guys. It just extended. It was super sad.
Perhaps because of that crushing GoBot disappointment, I knew at a young age I wanted to be successful and make good money. I had no idea what that meant, I just knew I didn't want to be disappointed. Isn't that an adorable 8 year old fantasy? That you could go through life without ever being disappointed?
Anyway, I worked hard and have been successful. My career successes made me very happy for my 20s and early 30s. It was my identity. That is, until last year, when I lost my job.
I'd love to tell y'all that I've spent the last year living purposefully, doing fun and industrious things like opening an etsy shop, learning to sew, or making my own candles, soap, detergent.
But that would be a big fat lie. I have no etsy-worthy ideas and I still don't sew.
The thing is, when I lost my job, I didn't think it'd be for 3 months or 6 months. I certainly didn't think I'd pass the 1 year mark and then blog about it. So, I didn't wake up and purposefully say "I'm going to make good use of my time off and do ____today. "
My days weren't filled with all the things I've always imagined.
I've done some very cool things. For example:
I got engaged.
I got married.
I threw one incredible Inside Out themed party for Wesley's 3rd birthday.
I packed, moved, unpacked and decorated our new house in the Chicago suburbs. I loved the city, but I don't miss the urine smell on the red line.
I organized our DVD's, got rid of all the cases, and alphabetized them. (Pure bliss, I'm telling you)
I've purged lots of "stuff" from our house. (Closets, drawers, dressers, etc. )
I’ve baked a lot.
I'm writing. And writing and writing and writing.
I started substitute teaching, as my local district needed help. I really enjoy it.
I've also been there for some important family things. When Wes had heart surgery at 3, I was able to spend the time preparing him, supporting him, and supporting Rich through it, too. When my mom had a stroke (in Germany) and was hospitalized for 6+ weeks, I was able to fly there and spend 3+ weeks helping her with stroke rehabilitation and supporting no distracting my dad. I’ve enjoyed being a newlywed, and my husband and I have a strong marriage. We’ve spent countless hours with Wes, playing games, building lego worlds, cooking, baking, and doing ALL OF THE arts & crafts.
Ive done a lot and I’m grateful for it. But I haven't done the big projects that I thought I'd only accomplish if I could take “a break” from corporate America. I haven't...
- organized my digital photos
- finished my travel blog from 3 years ago
-finish writing my first novel
-submitted my series of children's books to a publisher
-pursued my dream of becoming a Realtor
-finished crocheting the blanket I started literally years ago
I’m a GoBot. I'm not becoming something new, amazing and mind-blowing. I’m just extending a little bit.
I can do better. I can transform myself, transform my life. I can absolutely be Optimus Prime!
